Small Things and The Void By Gillian F. Barnes (@geezfresh)

It's somewhat strange to find myself struggling with an assignment that I concepted, but the truth is, I'm not feeling terribly joyful at present. In fact, I've been finding myself feeling downright melancholy and resentful as of late.

I have a lot to be joyful about. My home is finally coming together having just finished fully redoing a room that we've lovingly nicknamed “The Bear Suite” based on its formerly aggressive bear and stripe wallpaper.

My cats are happy because they finally have space to play and be themselves.

My husband and I both have office spaces that make us happy and are currently making freelance workout of them. It's summer, and that means outdoor escapes and adventures.

But despite all these things for which I should be actively thankful, I'm not. I feel trapped by the impending doom cloud that the new variants seem to be creating. I’ve lost the ability to travel safely, to interact without risk...I didn't realize how much I needed those things and now I'm not sure when they will return.

I think my real problem is, often, when I'm stressed, I can rely on "being in the moment", but right now, I don't like this moment and I don't know what my future is. I want to escape, but there is only "the void!” The almost-two-year void.

This is depressing and I apologize for that. I know one thing-when I'm like this it becomes all about little things…

Sunlight through light filtering shades on honey colored wood.

The taste of really delicious food like mango salsa.

The hilarious sound of the weird owl who late night visits us to scream at a nearby female owl.

Fresh sheets and warm baths.

Reading.

Walking through soft, fresh grass, barefoot and connected to the earth.

Small things matter and I need to remember that.