The other day, I took an online course about plain writing. In essence, how to write in a straightforward, simple manner… and let me tell you… I disagree with it, almost violently.

The type of writing has noble roots. Even the government created legislation about it. The United States passed the Plain Language Act in 2010 “to improve the effectiveness and accountability of federal agencies to the public by promoting clear government communication that the public can understand and use.”

There are Federal standards that it follows to help users: 

• Find what they need

• Understand what they find

• Use what they find to meet their needs

But here’s the thing… these standards eerily mirror popular writing teaches aimed at online marketers who want better readership and therefore ranking. The reason? People don’t have enough time or don’t have the attention span for lengthy writing anymore. They consider all “fluffy” or “frilly” writing to be convoluted. 

Yes, yes, yes, I know. As a professional writer I get that a blog article is not a novel (I could certainly say a lot about overwriting too…), but should it really be plain? Shouldn’t some online writing remain artistic? Plain writing enthusiasts will tell you plain doesn’t mean boring, but to me, it is a good deal more technical, and a bit lacking in soul.*

I've been both watching and listening to versions of “Anne of Green Gables” for about a month now and that character is singlehandedly making me love words again. She is delightfully complex and she sees her world in a similarly elaborate way. For example, she takes every opportunity to call things scrumptious, tragical, and romantical. She lives her life to the fullest by describing worlds both real and imagined. If there is a long way to say something, I dare say that Anne will find it. I love that.

Even when I first began reading chapter books, I loved finding words I didn't know. I decoded them with context clues or a handy Dictionary (not online) and then added them like gems to my proverbial mental savings bank. Each was a treasure to be spent at the ideal moment. 

But I find that not many people feel the same these days… they want content served by an algorithm in five seconds or less. They want a quick hit. They want to get it over with. 

While I have less time in my life as of late, I don’t want to get writing and reading over with. I don’t want to treat them like tasks to be checked off a laundry list or inconveniences I’d rather not have in my life. Words are beauty. I want to enjoy them…

So in summation, dear readers, I implore you to seek out online writing and novels that challenge you. Do not settle for pure, simple, plain writing alone! It has a place, especially in educational posts, but that is not the only reason to read. Read for the love of the thing! 

Enjoy prose like a layered cake, complete with sugared synonyms and similies, overtly, ostentatious adjectives, candied conjunctions, frosted, iced interjections, and the perfect sprinkling of nouns, verbs, pronouns, and adverbs.

Gosh, I’m starving. 

*Not all plain writing is boring and not all writing should be flamboyant. I do not mean to insult plain writers… instead I endeavor to show the world that there are still people who read deeply and do not mind an extra word or two.