When asked what I learned from the experience of being quarantined, I would say the most important lesson I learned was how to change and adjust my entire life in a matter of months to feel sane and normal again. While I’m incredibly thankful to still have a job and be able to pay my bills during this time, simply being made to stay at home exposed every problem with my life decisions within the first week. This was now a time to address these problems head-on and quickly.    

1. How to connect with people without physically being in the same room 

I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve become very bad about reaching out to people but this is arguably the product of some awful friendships in my teens and early 20’s. We live in a time where you don’t really have to be that proactive anymore as social media has made it very easy to show acknowledgment and love of your friends without ever having to see them in person. Phone calls can be a huge time investment compared to leaving a comment on their Instagram post or shooting them a Facebook message. I also never really had to make plans because there was always a Facebook invite or the like in my inbox. Once the parties and bar nights were taken away, the loneliness kicks in instantly. You’re subjected to terrible Zoom happy hours where you can barely get a word in. I had to relearn the art of making phone calls or setting up one on one video chats. This was particularly great for reconnecting with my family who were already phone people. I also joined some virtual game nights and smaller video groups so I actually felt like I was socializing. I don’t know if I would say I’m better connected with people now compared to pre-COVID but I’m definitely more proactive.  

2. I didn’t need a gym to maintain my fitness

My initial panic set in the first week of lockdown when I couldn’t attend my CrossFit gym where I had not only made many friends but had peers to keep me accountable. My apartment sits at a cozy 250 sqft with about the space of a yoga mat left after furniture so I had to get creative and fast to do any activity. My coaches thankfully hosted Zoom workouts and lent us a piece of equipment for home to get us through while the city figured out reopening plans. The workouts were still very challenging if not repetitive and I managed to acquire a few more pieces to mix it up over the passing weeks. This meant a lot to me as going to the gym was such an important part of my day. It helped keep my sanity and offered the community I need in what can be a lonely city. While I still prefer in-person, I’m no longer fearful of having to do things myself anymore.  

3. I’ve been paying a lot more for lower quality of life

Upon moving to New York, friends warned me of the increased cost of living, many of which lived in Boston. Boston was not really any cheaper and salaries honestly paid worse so I figured I would take my chances. The huge bump in salary initially was amazing until I secured a more permanent living situation and settled into my new normal. I was living in an old brownstone that hadn’t been renovated in decades and the sidewalks were always trashed. I was catcalled walking to the train almost every day. The trains were a mess and constantly late. The stench of urine was inescapable but I dealt with these things for ‘the proximity’. I also could tell people ‘I live in Brooklyn’ which is a statement that gets a lot of oohs and ahhs depending on where you go thanks to all the amazing media that’s come out of the neighborhood.

These perks quickly became irrelevant once I was no longer able to travel or do any of the things you come to New York to do. It’s then I realized I was paying a premium to live in a dirty old shoebox with no outdoor space in a pretty dumpy part of town. I developed back issues from not having a proper desk to sit at due to space. I would go for walks to do errands or just get some air only to be even more aggressively catcalled and harassed by panhandlers while stepping over piles of discarded food and used condoms. Yet the days where I didn’t leave my apartment because of the weather were the worst. I felt so claustrophobic and miserable. The nail in the coffin was not being able to see the one thing that kept me tethered to living there, my friends. After seeing my coworkers and friends’ exodus from the city, I started to plan my own escape back to where my family lives in Rhode Island. It’s something I’ve actually wanted to do for some time now but couldn’t due to work. 

I initially only planned to stay the summer until I realized how much better everything was here. I could spend time with my family, including my young niece and nephew so I never felt lonely. Going for walks in Newport was pleasant, clean, and full of nice scenery. I had an outdoor space to work and workout. I could even start gardening! I was also able to reconnect with friends in the area. The beach was just a mile and a half away. I had also gained about 5 times the space for what would normally be the same price as what I was paying for my studio. Plus, it was still easy enough to get back to New York to see my friends. I could always rent a car or take the train down for the day. 

4. I thrive in routine and planning

Living in a city like New York keeps you on your toes. There’s something interesting happening every day and the FOMO is real. In the first few months of living there, I completely lost the routine I developed in the much slower paced Boston and no longer was consistently going to the gym or cooking at home. As a result, I gained about 50-60 lbs, developed plantar fasciitis, and wasted a lot of money on takeout. I also no longer valued my nights in and became irritable any night I didn’t have something going on. In all fairness, apartments in New York aren’t usually meant to be places you want to hang out in as they’re pretty cramped. 

I thankfully got my act together a few years ago, got my weight back down to normal, and settled into a new, very early routine. My life still felt very exciting though with happy hours, parties, shows, and impromptu travel plans to satisfy the more spontaneous aspect of my personality. When those were removed from the equation, there were big gaps in my week and I started to feel very lost and depressed. I had to spend time reconfiguring my schedule and finding new hobbies to fill that time. I started a meal service to encourage myself to cook new things every night. I planned out local walking or biking trips on my free days to see parts of the city I had never been to before. As time went on, I started to feel more normal again. 

5. My 5-year plan can be my 1-year plan  

Moving to New York was important to my career growth but detrimental to my savings growth. Still saddled with student debt and entering my 30’s, having roommates would have made the most sense but I just couldn’t do it anymore. After 10 years of dirty dishes, broken glasses, fights over the communal space, and not being allowed to have pets due to someone’s allergies, I was done. I managed to secure a very small but rent-stabilized studio in Bedstuy and it wasn’t much more than the shared options in the area. I took in a kitten from a friend and was basically living the dream I had wanted in Boston. Once I factored in utilities, increased prices on groceries, more frequently going out, gym memberships, etc., it started to add up. 

Most months I broke even and could really only make minimum payments on my debt. I always had enough to live the way I wanted but not much else. Once the pause was hit on basically all my expenses beyond my rent and groceries, all this money appeared. I was able to pay more towards my debts and set aside more. More recently, I was even able to cut my rent price down by striking a deal with my dad on staying in his condo in Rhode Island. I’m now on track to hopefully have a down payment on my own space by next year.  

While this has obviously been a difficult time in mine and many people’s lives full of lightning-fast change, there have been some bright spots and important lessons to take away. I’m incredibly grateful for all those who have helped me through and allowed me to use this as an opportunity to redirect my life’s course in a positive direction. Even though it’s not over, I’ve come out much stronger and better prepared for what’s next. (hopefully)

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