The most ironic part of writing a blog post about writing during quarantine is that these words will be the most I’ve written in succession since our State of Emergency went into effect March 16, 2020.
But when Gillian asked me to contribute, who was I to say no to the opportunity to attempt to put my thoughts and feelings about how this pandemic has affected me not only emotionally but professionally. It was a blog post I had considered writing for myself when this was all said and done anyway, but since we don’t see an end in sight anytime soon and this opportunity arose, I suppose now is as good a time as any to lay it all out.
So here’s my real talk: I can’t write anymore.
OK, so that sounds a little dramatic. Let’s just say that since March, I have not been able to find the motivation to write anything new for myself. At all.
It’s not that I don’t have anything new to work on. Far from it. Between fantasy thieves, elemental werefoxes, and a choose-your-own-adventure murder mystery, I have plenty of options to choose from should the need arise.
But it hasn’t. It isn’t. And for the first time, I’m uncertain what I can do about it.
So while other authors are using this opportunity to reflect on what they’ve been able to do while under quarantine, I’m going to use this as an exercise into why I have not been able to do anything. And perhaps, by the end of this, together we can explore any and all available options to get ourselves back into the writing mindset.
Why We Can’t Write
Even when there’s not a pandemic happening around us, writer’s block is real. It just feels exponentially worse when there are so many other situations where we find ourselves doing anything but focusing that energy on the creative. These are just a few.
Physical factors - The virus is no joke, and it’s changed how many of us live. We can’t go where we want without restrictions and planning, or perhaps not at all. Some of us may be high risk, some of us may not want to risk anything at all. The coffee shop you used to use as your getaway may have closed. The routine you used before you settled down may have been upended. I haven’t been able to get away to my local Panera, my standard escape whenever I needed a refresh. Anything right now can reverse what we considered normal, and it has an effect in so many ways.
Professional obligations - Some of us have been forced to work remotely, while others have been deemed essential. Unfortunately, some of us have stopped working altogether. All of these factors can drastically impact one’s ability to focus on something enjoyable. As for myself I’ve been deemed ‘essential’ since the beginning and have continued to go into my office every day, full time. In the beginning, we were encouraged to try to work from home as much as we could, but unfortunately, real estate in Massachusetts doesn’t exactly allow for that, especially when rates are dropping and people still want to buy houses in the midst of a pandemic.
Personal influences - I’m a mom, and like most parents, we’ve had to reorganize our lives to accommodate remote learning virtual school from home. The end of the school year was a mess with a capital M, especially as a parent to a child with ADHD and extremely used to her schooling schedule. Trying to accommodate what we needed to do in her best interest on top of everything else was just one more stressor we didn’t expect when this all began.
Emotional factors - Before the pandemic, I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder. I have panic and anxiety attacks, especially in high-stress situations. During these times it’s nearly impossible for me to focus on anything else, let alone anything I enjoy. The pandemic has been the epitome of anxiety for all the factors I’ve mentioned above, and it’s just the tip of the iceberg. It’s become consuming: thinking about it, fearing it, worrying not only about myself, but more so for my loved ones and what the unknown future is going to bring.
Circumstantial reasons - The frosting on the cake for me during this pandemic was the opportunities that I had when it started that slipped through my fingers as the time went on. So many events and talks and contracts have been canceled, postponed, and reverted since the beginning of my quarantine and with everyone piling on top of the other, something’s bound to break underneath it all. Those opportunities were my main focus on writing for myself.
How We Can Start Writing
Pandemic or otherwise, there was always the possibility of writer’s block. We’ve all been there, and we know it’s more or less a temporary setback that often resolves itself. But what if you’re like me, where external factors are exponentially worse and that block just won’t seem to break?
A new project - Nothing makes the mind work better than something new. A fresh start, a clean slate. Whether you outline or are a pantser like me, a new story may be one of the most exciting endeavors when trying to find your footing to begin writing again. Have an idea for a new story you’ve been dying to begin or looking to find an excuse to write something in a genre you’ve never touched before? These little things could be all you need to get the gears turning. I thought this was going to be my saving grace, beginning something new that I was looking forward to working on for some time. Unfortunately, it was also the first time I realized that something was wrong where being able to write was concerned. I had an idea, I had a deadline and for a while, I had the drive to make it happen…but the closer that deadline drew, the slower the words appeared, and before I realized it I found myself in a panic to get the story written. For the first time in a long while, I folded on a deadline.
A new setup - My best writing always happened when I had two computers next to one another on my desk—my desktop computer which I generally used for gaming and the internet, while my laptop was set up next to me, current project loaded up should the motivation hit while I'm mid-game in Hearthstone or waiting to queue for a dungeon in World of Warcraft. A couple of years ago, they both were replaced by a pretty impressive gaming laptop and things were fine for a while. Then the laptop stopped working like it should (I mean, who can write with a broken Enter button?) and the glamour started to fade when I had to hook up an ancillary keyboard just to be able to write. Enter the pandemic and a desperate need to return to the creative life I once knew, so I tried to revert my space back to what I knew worked. Or, at least I tried. My husband made the valiant effort to watch as many YouTube videos and read as many Reddit threads as he could about fixing the laptop, and it worked for about 24 hours. In that time I had found another monitor and set up my desk the way it used to be and I was excited. And then the Enter key stopped working again...
A new routine - Maybe with everything else going on, trying to focus on a novel isn’t the best thing for you. Novels can be daunting, even when there’s not a pandemic happening. Instead of looking at the big picture, it might help best to break it down a bit. Perhaps focus on a short story with less commitment than a full-length book. Or if you insist on needing to focus on a novel, perhaps a certain word count goal per day and to help you focus and move forward. Self-imposed deadlines help you work under a different kind of pressure. Or maybe refocus on something else like blogging (*cough cough*) to attempt to get those fingers typing again.
Change of pace - Sometimes all you need is a change of pace. Are you generally a nighttime writer? Try waking up in the morning to get some words in. Do you prefer to raise your word count before the day begins? Maybe it’s time to increase the caffeine and become a night owl for a time. A small change could be all it takes, and you just need to take it one day at a time because this magic doesn’t happen overnight.
And If We Still Can’t Write
What if nothing else works? What if the words won’t come and we feel like writing is more of an obligation than an enjoyable pastime? Have I personally tried the advice I’ve written so far? I absolutely have. And yet, here I am…trying harder to write a blog post than I have in the last five months I’ve had to work on anything else I’ve wanted. And it’s hard. It’s really really hard. But I’m doing it. So something must have worked, right? Well, maybe…or maybe it was a lot of somethings. Or no somethings at all...
Don’t write - I know this sounds counterproductive and the source of all the issues I’ve had to begin with but hear me out on this one. For me, one of the hardest things to do is write when I’m trying to force myself to do it, especially when writer’s block is strongly in place. So my words of advice whenever writer’s block strikes is to stop writing for however long you need (or in this case, however long I’ve been in quarantine) and try focusing on other activities.
Read - I’m not going to jump up and say this has been the easiest thing for me to do either, but I will say I have been finding myself getting less screen time and opting to pick up a book instead (yes, I do prefer hardcovers and paperbacks over eBooks still). That detachment from electronics definitely helps me regroup when I feel fried whether it’s from social media or the news or thinking about writing when I know I won’t be able to. Curling up on the couch or in bed with a book definitely helps me recharge the imagination, which is a huge factor in being able to write, at least for me.
Play games - Whether you’re a tabletop gamer or into video games, I always found gaming a pleasant distraction from the pressures of writing. As a fantasy author, the opportunity to escape into alternate realms has always been appealing, whether it’s through writing, reading, or playing a Dungeons & Dragons campaign.
Safely explore the outside world - Especially in the summertime, we strive to be outside while the weather remains nice enough for us to do so. As phases come into place and numbers drop, some areas are safely and cautiously reopening to the public once again. Even so, I beg each and every one of you to please be careful and take care of yourself should you choose to follow this advice. I’ll be the first to admit that I will not eat inside a restaurant (though we have participated in outdoor dining) and I’ve only just recently ventured to our mall for necessities. Even so, these were still adventures that took me away from the house. One of the best quarantine purchases I made was a hammock for our backyard. Whether it’s just getting some fresh air outside while my daughter plays, or unwinding after a long day of work, or swinging in the breeze with my book, being (safely) outside does help me tremendously.
Help others - If you can’t seem to help yourself out of the writing block, maybe you can find someone else who could use that extra little assistance. Instead of writing, perhaps partake in beta-reading or swapping with a critique partner. If you’ve ever been interested in editing, it might be an ideal time to look into that editorial certificate. Offer to proofread for your writer friends who need that extra set of eyes on their final draft before beginning to query. Or you could be absolutely ridiculous like me and begin an independent publishing house just as the pandemic began. But whatever you choose, be a cheerleader. Encourage those who may be able to do what you cannot, but stay positive—you’ll get back there one day.
As each day goes on, it does get a little better, but I know this is our new normal and not where we’re used to being. This blog post was the first time I tried to write something new since the beginning of the pandemic, and 2,230 words later, I’ll be the first to admit it was a struggle, but it’s also been therapeutic. I think part of healing and getting beyond that which holds us back is talking about it—or in this case, writing about it. So thank you, Gillian, for this opportunity and I hope that those of you reading this know that you’re not alone. It’s ok to not be ok, and we’re all going to get through this together.
If you enjoyed this piece, please follow M. Dalto on Twitter @MDalto421.