If I learned anything from COVID it was worrying about everything leads to getting a whole lot of nothing done.
I spent four months unemployed which I judiciously used to write or do writing related things. But I wont lie and say there wasn’t a couple of weeks were I did nothing.
We all had them, trapped in our homes, fear and worry chasing our thoughts into procrastination and apathy. Even the introverts were itching to get out.
I spent a lot of time criticizing myself for not doing enough.
Last year I wrote ten novels in the space of a year while working full time.
I had four months off and wrote less than hundred thousand words. That might sound like a lot, but not to me. And they were all garbage.
I went ahead with the release of my book back in April which was supposed to be during my first paid gig as a speaking author. It would have been a great launch but there were no funds to be had for hard copies or advertising thanks to my unemployment, and then the gig was cancelled.
I released anyway but it was under severe constraints and without nearly as much joy or celebration as the first book I’d released three years ago. I had to let go of my emotional attachment to the wondrous thrill of having a book out there because of the crippling anxiety I couldn’t spend anything on promoting it. When I started trawling through blogs looking for reviewers I’d had several prestigious ones lined up and they just couldn’t read it. Why? COVID.
It sucked the time, emotion, and life out of everything and is STILL doing it!
But we are our own worst critics, aren’t we? And I won’t criticize you for feeling like you might have failed for doing nothing. Even as I sit here and criticize myself.
After a while what I found was the small goals were what really mattered most. Rather than focus on the quality or quantity of what I was doing – I just focused on getting one thing done a day. One tedious task a week.
I made a routine of cleaning the house and having stuff done by the weekend so on the weekends I could relax, and during the week I was at ‘work’.
I didn’t make my writing career more demanding than it had to be. I worked progressively on editing those scripts from last year. On getting ahead of schedule so when I went back to work I would already have a lot of my writerly work done.
What was most rewarding was the niggly tasks though. The ones we always put off on weekends because there isn’t enough time.
I hate sewing and I suck at it but most of our blankets have been mended. Finally put those pictures in their frames. Dusted all the architraves. Buffed marks out of the walls. Fixed the broken blinds in the dressing room. Got rid of all the spiderwebs out the front of the house.
I rearranged the bookcase a little. I read older books I hadn’t in years. I reorganized my desk space. Updated my goal and work progress on my wall. I read books on writing, working to improve my craft. I updated my website to something I much preferred.
All time consuming and potentially irritating but nevertheless important. And it didn’t matter if I wasted the rest of the day or week or whatever time frame I’d given myself. If I got that ONE thing done then the time I spent playing games, staring out the window, or scrolling social media didn’t feel misspent. It was about my mental health and what I needed to do to get through those moments.
Now I’m back at work I don’t feel like I wasted that time as much as I could have, and with all the things I did get done my house is a nicer space to work from home.
So if you find yourself confined and restrained; make yourself achievable daily and weekly goals. Do the things about your home, and with your hobbies and life that you’ve always wanted to do and never “had time.”
Just that one thing. A day. A week. A month. Then go back to the things that make you feel safe, secure and comforted.
All those One Things do is make the space you’re in all the more safer, cleaner, and very much your own.
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