As I hold you in my arms, squeezing and rocking you to sleep, I can’t help whispering things to you like “you’re alright”, “I won’t let anything hurt you”, and “nothing is going to hurt the baby.” And all of that is sort of true…nothing life-threatening is going to happen to you.
At this moment I can say with 100% confidence that I would happily set myself on fire to avoid you being physically harmed, but not all harm is mortal, and not all harm is physical. I can’t and shouldn’t protect you from the latter and that is going to be difficult for me.
I can already tell that I will want to shield you from heartbreak, from bruises, from harsh words…but if I used my own life experience to do so, I would be doing you a major disservice. So here and now I will make you a promise, little one.
If you are learning to walk and you look like you’re going to fall onto a relatively soft surface, I will to let you do that.
If you try to eat something that will taste very bad, but won’t kill you, I’ll let it happen.
If someone makes fun of you, I will let you deal with it first, and will only step in if you feel you need help.
If you get older and want to jet off to Paris with a significant other you just met, I’ll voice my objections, but will support you.
The truth is, the world you live in is already so different than the one I grew up in. You will grow up with social media ingrained in everyday life. You will have a phone long before I ever could have thought to ask for one (but probably not as soon as your peers). Your radio listening experience will be distinctly more R-rated (sorry, I love the songs that are playing nowadays, but there is no amount of censorship or “over-the-head” factor that can obscure some of the current song lyrics). In school, you will have more drills for things like active shooters than I ever did. You will have a stronger possibility of meeting your future partner online than I did. You will have many technology-based career options that I never had. There are a lot of differences, good and bad, that I won’t be able to shield you from, but I will love you and be there for you throughout it all.
I promise to let you fall, but I also promise to provide bandaids.
Dear Daughter, I Promise to Let You Fall